EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
