i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
