I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
