how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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