Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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