I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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