HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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