The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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