come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
