I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
