i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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