**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
