honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
