it glows. i had to have it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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