The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
