I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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