We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We got so high we made milksteak
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
