just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
