I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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