i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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