Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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