maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
