I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
