So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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