Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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