Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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