Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
bring money and cleavage
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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