She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
