i don't like sucking hair
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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