I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
