wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
