let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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