from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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