Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
