I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
