I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
