yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
