quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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