thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize