thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
