how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
