I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize