Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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