in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize