we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Holy shit dude........stairs
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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