My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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