I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
