shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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