First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
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Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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