i think i have herpe
just one?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
