my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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