No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
