At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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