Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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