I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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