your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
