Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
