I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
