so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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