the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize