Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
