Girls should come with a carfax report
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
