I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
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I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
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Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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