oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
