i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
