Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
