she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
